So, anyway
by Crimson Lipstick
Summary: Companion piece to 'So, yeah'. You know many things. You also know many things other people don’t know. But you still don’t know why she changed..... R&R!


A/N: This is the sequel to So, yeah. This can be read as a standalone, I suppose, but you may understand it better if you read the other story first. It's taken from the episode Bad Girl McGuire, and is about if Lizzie remained friends with Angel. Not much else for me to say, but read and review:-) Thanks to all the people who reviewed before as well, and a special thanks to people who added the story to their fav lists and communities.

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So, anyway

by Crimson Lipstick

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You know many things. You also know many things other people don't know. But you know the basics as well. You know your parents love you, and you know the sky is blue, and that the sun rises in the east, and you know the capital of Turkey and you know all Spielberg's movies. Well, perhaps that's not as basic…

But you still don't know why she changed.

She used to be your friend. Your bubbly, blonde, all round good girl best friend, who you coincidentally also had a major crush on. Then one day (bring on the clichés), she went into detention and came out a sultry purple haired all round bad girl, whose favourite pastimes included getting high and getting drunk at unsupervised parties. And, yet, you still had that crush on her.

You tried to change her, naturally. You and Miranda even made a stupid video, and for one minute both of you thought it had worked. Fast forward to next period, where Liz was talking animatedly to Angel, and refused to give either one of you second looks. You and Miranda tried countless of times but, one day, as hard as it was, you realized you had to stop, and that both of you had done all that was possible. At that time, even her parents had accepted (the shock of everyone at school died after a week, except strangely enough, for Kate). So at a painful distance, you watched her grow thinner and wear tighter clothes. You read the rumours about her, heard about them in the locker room and every time she walked pass you could smell the weed reeking on her clothes. Now, you find it hard to even look her in the eye. Admittedly, you don't want to sometimes.

Obviously, you don't go her house anymore, but you see her brother Matt around sometimes and you think he's depressed or something. He was the one everyone excepted to become a 'troublemaker', but, hey that's life for you. So instead of pulling pranks on teachers, yesterday you saw him at the rail tracks staring lifelessly down. You'd mention this to his parents, but they seem so preoccupied with their eldest child. And you can't say you blame them. Besides, it's not really your place.

So, anyway, you watch Liz discreetly in health class. She's been moved here from another one. Something about disruptive behavior. Nothing new there. She sits with this weird guy who paints his nails black, and wears upside down pentagrams. Next to her are plastics that sometimes talk to her (never confuse the stoners with the popular people). But otherwise than that, she's pretty much alone. After a few days, you begin to notice how quiet she's becoming. You think it's very strange. Liz is a teacher's nightmare. And then one day you think she's crying. And it's a shock because Liz is such a bitch. She's become so good at hiding beneath her exterior. You've never seen her so broken down before.

And after class you go running to Miranda to tell her this – because she's the only other person in the world who probably cares - but she's rushing past you, telling you how there's an emergency drama rehearsal at lunchtime today, and how after school she has orchestra practice, so maybe she'll catch you on the bus, tomorrow, okay?

She's gone before you can reply, and then Parker is suddenly there, hugging your neck and pressing herself into you, while the entire time thanking God that Miranda's only stage director, because she couldn't act to save her mother's life. And you don't say anything, because even though Miranda is your 'best friend', you don't want to make Parker upset, because that's what you're good at – avoiding conflict.

It's also why you've never spoken to Liz properly. Miranda was the one always trying to initiate contact, and you normally just stood there, the voice of reason not important anymore. It was so sudden how Lizzie changed. One moment, she was the all American girl, the next, well you don't want to talk about it. It was like you were always in constant shock, and the rejection fed to you, each and every time felt worse than anything else than you had ever felt before.

So, anyway, you smoke a cigarette thinking aboutall this.It would be a wonder if you hadn't changed, even slightly, and it'd be a wonder if you hadn't kept this all a secret. So let's all ignore lung cancer and rotten teeth, and the lectures that would follow. There are people out there doing worse. You're sick of thinking too much. You often wonder how you can still like a girl who doesn't even acknowledge your existence, and how that one girl can mange to screw up your life so much. And then you have to butt out and air your room, because Tommy's coming over to do some calculus, and who the fuck cares if he has asthma, but you want to keep this part your life private, like most of your life isn't, anyway. And that's what Miranda complains every time (once a week at least), you have a fight – you don't let anyone in anymore!

Your parents don't even notice. When they do, you manage to cover it up. They're professionals, yes, but you've grown up with them, you know them. And they're hardly every around anyway. You look at your video camera. You still produce videos but people question your topics. The word 'idealist' is heard often. One of your teachers even asked you if you had joined a political front. English teachers are slightly less blunt; they just slam your papers down in front of you, with notes to see them after class. You never do. They'd just be wondering how one fifteen year old could hold such strong rash political views. You don't understand it either. But you needed something to occupy your mind, and it was either chess club or this.

Liz is in your class. You can't look at her as much as in health, because you're not sitting at the right angle. English was never your best class, so it would make sense, you'd be in an average class. Next year, though, you're sure you're a contender for the honours class. Anyway, you swore one time, when you dared to turn your head that she gave you a smile, before going back to staring out the window with slightly swollen red eyes. But Angel is in your class as well, and for every smile you receive, there would be ten scowls following. Maybe she's jealous. Jealous of what, you wonder. Though it could be Liz because she is pretty hot and bad and all, but you often think to why Angel hasn't dumped her already. There's just something that doesn't seem right about the scenario.

So, anyway, you're watching her again. Out of the corner of your eye, so nobody notices.But she doesn't notice you. She never does. No way. Never even bats an eyelid. And if she does; she's doing a pretty damn good job of hiding it. So, you watch her silently. Just because it's all you can do anymore.

And just because you know, that in a weird twisted way, your life really isn't any better than hers.

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End file.
